Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan.
In this Genesis account, Terah moved from Ur to Canaan with his whole family. That is what I would consider a transition.
For the past year, my family has urged me to consider moving back to Raleigh, a place we called home for my 45-year law career. It is only 70 miles away from Pinehurst where we have lived the past 12 years. It has been a great place to live, but my wife always has had one foot back in Raleigh with her network of friends.
My wife and my daughter who lives in Raleigh finally convinced me that returning to Raleigh was a logical and rational choice for us at this stage of our lives. They didn’t leave any bruises, but it was clear what they wanted.
In less than a month from the time when I finally said “uncle” and conceded that moving back to Raleigh was a good idea, we sold our house here 10 days ago and bought one in Raleigh within a week. I have described this rapid process as surreal. It has happened so quickly that I have had to reflect on how God’s hand was in it.
The house we bought in Raleigh is an example. One of my sons found it online and sent the information to us to look at. He thought that it would be “perfect”. It was a little out of our price range, but I was game to look at it because it did seem perfect every other way. It is located in a neighborhood we knew well – in fact, we knew many of the neighbors. Several potential buyers had shown an interest in the house, but each one said that the timing was not right according to the realtor.
For us, the timing was perfect. Any one of the interested buyers could have easily scooped it up before we had a chance, but this was more a factor of God’s timing. The Raleigh real estate market has been very tight, and it is unusual for houses not to be snapped up if they are priced fairly and in a good location.
My wife is thrilled, which makes me happy, although leaving Pinehurst is bittersweet. We have a great Church; I love singing with the worship team and we’ve made many close friends here but going back to Raleigh will be something of a homecoming.
From experience, I know that this is a time in our lives that will be stressful, as many transitions are. The old Holmes-Rhea Test inventory provides different stress point totals for events of life. Moving gets you 38 points and another 25 points for remodeling. Get enough of those points and you are stressed out. If you get over 300, you have a 50% chance of Burnout. Not good.
The Next generation has gone through their own sets of transitions. The Millennials arrived in the workforce right as the economy tanked in 2008 and jobs were scarce. Many lived with their parents and some still do. It’s not on the Holmes-Rhea test, but I would submit that living with your parents might rate several points on the scale.
There is actually a modified Holmes-Rhea test for Generation Z. They have modified the events to non-adult categories. Not making the cut in an extracurricular activity rates 55 points for example. Becoming a full member of a church grades out at 31 points.
If you are mentoring Generation Z or a millennial, you should look at the test. Some of the events are not what you might expect in terms of how stressful they may be, and the stress impact much more than you thought. It will aid you in helping the next generation through life by realizing what they are up against emotionally.
Life is full of transitions which is accompanied by some level of anxiety – often a fear of the unknown. I have always dealt better with events where I know it is going and what will happen as opposed to something that is out of my depth and unpredictable. When I got prostate cancer, my life went upside down as soon as I got the diagnosis. Yet dealing with a known disease was easier than the suspense of not knowing after I got tested.
The next generation reacts differently to many things that older generations take in stride. The Holmes Rhea “non-adult” test is instructive. Here are some of the higher point categories:
Death of a parent 100
Change in acceptance by peers 67
Not making an extracurricular activity 55
Begin dating 51
Breaking up with boyfriend/girlfriend 53
Becoming involved with drugs/alcohol 50
Hospitalization of a parent 50
A total of 300 points over a period of a year puts one in the “red zone” and “at risk for illness”. Scanning the list, one can see how the next generation is stressed by different things than the other generations.
Just last week, the fourth student at North Carolina State University in Raleigh committed suicide during the fall semester alone. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for college students. This occurred early in the fall semester mind you, long before the stress of exams sets in.
The point is that the next generation are not bullet proof when it comes to stress. They may be going through transitions of their own such as changing jobs, going to college, getting married, having a child, or even just moving. Their reaction may be greater to each of these than what you might expect, and we should be sensitive as to how they are dealing with them.
A personal footnote. I will be slowing down on these posts over the next couple of months while we go through the laborious process of buying and selling a house and moving. It’s taken me 2 weeks to complete this post and I’ve realized that I have too much on my plate to do a weekly post.
MENTOR TAKEAWAY: Mentors are not mental health experts, but they are able to determine when a mentee is under stress due to circumstances. Being able to come alongside a mentee at a difficult time may be an invaluable benefit.
WORSHIP: In Christ Alone– Getty
For more information about Mentor Link, go to www.mentorlink.org.
You can receive an email notice of each post by clicking on the icon at the top right corner and entering your email address