Generation A (Alpha)

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. Psalm 71:18

When I started this blog in 2016, I generally used the term the “next generation” to identify the millennials.  Millennials age group starts around age 24 and ends with those who are now 44. Several years of blogs later and I started writing about Generation Z (Gen Z) whose ages are roughly 15 to 24.  

Now, at the beginning of 2024, we are now seeing on the horizon a newer generation who were born after 2010. They are called Gen A for Alpha.  This generation will be totally born in the 21^st century and will largely be children of millennials.  Its oldest members were born with the advent of the iPad.

They will be a totally online group – some call them the “iPad kids”.  Facebook is in the rear view and TikTokuse is on the rise and is shaping their lives. I have previously registered my reservations about TikTok, including algorithms used to lure users into dark places as well as surveillance by China. Facebook only exposed you to friends and family; TikTok, on the other hand, exposes a user to “anyone and everyone”.

For most of us, keeping an eye on this generation is important. A recent Axios article caught my attention because it gives a glimpse of what Gen A might be like and events that have already shaped them.

They have dealt with a pandemic and climate crises (although the latter is debatable).  Still, they have experienced lock downs, social distancing, and online learning which prior generations largely avoided. As a result, they are behind socially and may not have skills in making friends. Their experience base is also limited due to travel restrictions posed during the pandemic.  In fact, they are vulnerable to the breakdown in social norms so that bad behavior like public freakouts, burnout and bullying are here to stay. 

And most importantly, they have suffered a learning loss that schools are now trying to cope with to have them catch up.  The subtitle from the Hechinger Report says this: “Data show kids at every age are behind three years after schools closed, and some lags are ‘alarming’.”  

An example is that only 56% of fourth graders nationally are proficient in math, up from 55% in 2022.  For junior high students in the 7^th and 8^th grade, the failure isn’t as remarkable, largely because “so few students were meeting grade-level expectations even before the pandemic.”    The Hechinger Report is chilling because once the students are behind in reading, they have little chance of catching up in today’s educational environment.

By the numbers, Gen A is expected to become the largest generation at roughly 2 billion people. By contrast, Gen Z is expected to overcome Boomers in the workplace this year (2024).  

Gen A has a head start on smartphones and most of them have had one since they were 9 years old.  As noted by James Emory White: “79% of their parents say their kids are currently on social media”. 44% say their kids watch video content on a smartphone at least weekly.”  Again, I view these as debatable parenting practices based on what I have researched on social media over the past 8 years.  

For learning, Gen A will be the first one to fully see and use Artificial Intelligence such as ChatGPT, which is already being used in the schools for teaching.  As Emory notes, they will be the first generation to see the world where “AI and the human have been permanently blurred.”

As far as political and social views, the jury is out and it is too early to tell, but what we do know is that they have empathy toward others because they are globally connected to the world. Thus, they are likely to have anxiety toward racial issues, climate change and poverty.

As far as money is concerned, they are in the age of payment apps like Venmo or Apple Pay and have the ability to buy things without credit cards or cash.  They have access to debit cards and driving services like Uber on their phone.  All of this with parental consent but probably not supervision. 

As children of millennials, they will largely be unchurched. The millennials are responsible for the growth of the “Nones” who have no religious affiliation. As such, there is a clear void in their spiritual background which doesn’t mean that they will not be open to the Gospel. Churches may have to tweak how they approach them since they will have never been in a Sunday school class and will be biblical illiterates.

And given our culture, they will have a pluralistic mindset and have trouble identifying with what truth is when it comes to spiritual faith.

A daunting early portrait of the very next generation.  Still, they are of an age where mentoring can still provide great input in their lives. 

MENTOR TAKEAWAY:  Consider reaching out to members of Gen A as they are now growing up around us. As Emory notes, “It’s time to meet them.”

FURTHER STUDY: 

The oldest Gen Alphas can almost drive: Here’s how millennials’ kids will shop, work, and live – Business Insider

“A landmark generation”: Introducing Gen Alpha  –  Axios

Generation Alpha Comes into Focus – Church and Culture (James Emory White)

FBI says China could use TikTok to spy on Americans, including government workers

 – NPR

Three views of pandemic learning loss and recovery –Hechinger Report

Bad Behavior Is Here to Stay – Axios.

WORSHIP:  Build My Life  – Chris Tomlin

For more information about Mentor Link, go to www.mentorlink.org.

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Gratitude

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Colossians 3:16

There is something in life that you can never get enough of:  Gratitude.  When it comes to the next generation, they are too often inwardly focused or on their smart phone, and they might miss the opportunity to actual make a difference in someone’s life simply by being gracious to someone else.

My wife is a collector of gratitude from our nine grandkids.  It’s one of the things she often comments about them when describing them.  One of our twin grandsons – after she had prepared a big breakfast with bacon and pancakes – told her “Gammy, that was the best bacon, but next time could you make the bacon a little crispier”.  Nice try and we still laugh at the effort.

You can dole out gratitude anywhere you go.  Even the barista that serves you coffee or a latte deserves a kind word.  One writer went so far as to say, “thank you for keeping the bugs out of my coffee”.  The barista replied: “That’s a little strange but I appreciate it.  I don’t get a lot of gratitude.”  

Earlier this week, I saw Angel who works at a nearby Panera and asked if she had been sick. She replied “yes”, and I said “well, we missed you.”  She said: “I love that”.  Doesn’t take much effort to make someone feel special. 

A recent post by James Emery White of Charlotte drove home the breadth of being grateful for small things. He tells the story of Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsy who were confined by the Nazis in a concentration camp named Ravensbruk. They had smuggled a bible into the camp and read that “all things they were to give thanks and that God can use anything for good”.

Betsy decided that that meant for her to be thankful for the fleas which infested the barracks, so she prayed to God thanking Him for the fleas.  After a while, they realized a curious thing: none of the soldiers entered their barracks because of the fleas so they were never harmed nor assaulted.

They then started bible studies in their barracks leading many women to Christ. The takeaway White gives is that when you are facing adversity, uncertainty, physical or emotional challenges, you should consider praying with gratitude for your circumstances.  If you are brave enough to pray for gratitude, “remember the fleas of Ravensbruk”.

Another author wrote a piece that also struck me – the essence was that we often overlook things to be grateful for until we miss them.  Looking back at things in our past, we can see how circumstances or even places that we visited or lived were a blessing to us which we overlooked.  The author goes on to convey the thought that there is a positive and negative sense of “indebtedness”.  

On the negative side, you feel you owe someone a debt and the feeling that you need to repay it in some fashion.  It can be harmful because it forces one to feel like they have to do something as opposed to wanting to repay a kindness.

Positive “indebtedness” is the flip side where it is a “pay it forward” type of feeling.  You are encouraged to help others, not from a sense of obligation, but from a sense of helping them along their own spiritual and physical journeys.  

As I look at my own journey as a mentor, this notion of “positive indebtedness” struck me as central to the role of a mentor.  We do what we do out of a belief that use our life experiences as a way of paying it forward in someone else’s life.  We don’t do it for recognition or awards.  We are rewarded by seeing growth and maturity in our mentee’s life.

If you have never been a mentor, consider doing it as a form of gratitude for what God has done in your life. You have unique skills, talents, gifts, and experiences that the next generation can learn from. Investing in the life of another is one of the most rewarding activities that I can think of.  

The next generation – starting with the millennials, then Gen Z and now Gen Alpha (the oldest of whom are 13), are in desperate need of someone to come alongside and help them.  They are all around you. Just ask one if they would have coffee with you or even a meal.  Listen to their story; ask questions. See what makes them tick and what their hopes and aspirations are.  And then lean in to be a sounding board by giving them good biblical advice and counsel.

You will be grateful that you did.

MENTOR TAKEAWAY: Exhibiting gratitude to your mentee is the simplest way of showing appreciation and a visible teaching a valuable life lesson.

FURTHER READING

‘A ray of light’: How I found gratitude in trying times – Samantha Perfas.

Thankful for the Fleas – James Emory White.

WORSHIP:   Gratitude by Brandon Lake                                                         

Maturity

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Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. Joel 1:3

A rainy day has prompted to write anew on issues facing the next generation in a post-covid world.  This particular post was inspired by the writing of Tim Elmore who did a 3-part series on handicaps facing children and teens.  I will dig into some of his points which are instructive as to what our kids face. In his first post, Elmore makes the following observations:

1. EXPOSURE IS UP. EXPERIENCE IS DOWN

Exposure to tablets is way up – 9 of 10 preschoolers are on a tablet by age 4.  At the same time, parents have removed activities where risk-taking is part of the experience, even such as exploring on their own, walking to a community park or even riding bikes outside of the neighborhood.  The solution?  Elmore suggests that parents make plans to try new things which are age appropriate but may be unpredictable. Even allowing a child to travel without parents or drive a car as soon as it is legal. 

• STIMULATION IS UP. CRITICAL THINKING IS DOWN.

Almost the entire internet experience is designed to stimulate, from pinging of smartphones, text messages, alerts, or whatever.  Those “interruptions” actually breed a numbness where we rely on them rather than take time to reflect on our own.  The latter leads to critical thinking where we analyze or “evaluate an idea without the input of someone else.”    According to a published study, seventy percent of Americans do not think on their own, and the same number don’t know basic facts about their country. 

I find such statistics troubling, because an uninformed public can be pushed into doing or thinking things which are contrary to our founding values, and it doesn’t bode well for our future.  Thinking and action is shaped for our kids by media and other sources. Our kids have become “imitators not originators”.

Elmore suggests solutions which involve building margin into kid’s lives. Have them sit down and discuss their daily conversations, experiences, news stories and classes and help them process how to think about them.  My son in law does something at the dinner table.  He asks his kids to share a rose and a thorn.  The rose is a good experience of the day and why it was good.  The thorn is the flip side of something that was unpleasant. 

• CONNECTIONS ARE UP. COMMUNITY IS DOWN.

Connecting through technology is not the same as in person.  “81% of households have at least one device connected to the internet constantly.”  Elmore cites a teen who met a girl online, “dated” her online, and actually broke up online.  Social media may provide connection, but it is also a source of “feelings of being left out, anxiety, depression and social isolation”. 

33 state’s Attorney Generals have sued Meta for knowingly causing harm to children’s mental health.  That list is now 42 states who have joined.  I raised the alarm years ago in several posts about the troubling side effects of social media. Unfortunately, the damage has been done to a generation of kids.

Social media causes loneliness – replacing face to face interactions with a screen is not a relationship, and some “61 percent of young people (ages 18-25) feel miserable degrees of loneliness” according to Elmore. He suggests that parents impose restrictions and boundaries on devices. Even schools are getting into the act by limiting cell phones in classes.  Take time to meet face to face with your child, mentee grandchild to promote active conversations and discussions. Additionally, find like-minded parents and develop times of community by doing things together.  

• Opportunity is up. Risk taking is down.

A high per centage of the next generation (70%) want to be an entrepreneur in a world and culture where there are lots of opportunities. Unfortunately, this is the most risk-adverse population.  “Generation Z faces an unprecedented behavioral health crisis, according to a study by McKinsey [a large consultancy).”  Some of the blame can be placed on bad parenting such as the “helicopter” parents” or “lawn mower parents” who have denied their kids the opportunity to try things on their own and the opportunity to experience failure.

The solution is not to recklessly let them go. Instead, mentor them (or better, find someone to mentor them) on making decisions and evaluating risks and benefits of their decisions. Learning to do Critical thinking is a skill that will help them throughout life.

• Anxiety is Up. Activity is down.

Even before the Covid Pandemic, we noticed an increase of anxiety and loneliness which was similar to what we saw in millennials (ages 25-43). “Anxiety is up 300 percent. Depression is up 400 percent…every single mental illness, every behavioral problem, including substance abuse in older kids is going through the roof.”  While there is no one single cause, one thing that is noticeable is that a sedentary lifestyle has taken over from activity of any kind. Sitting in front of a screen blocks out participating in sports or other activities. Elmore notes that we all know when kids are active, chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and most of all, endorphins are released.”  Those result in feel good emotions. 

An obvious solution is to help them balance mental with physical activity. Not everybody is going to be a soccer star or number one on a tennis team, but participating in any activity provides long term and short- term benefits. With today’s technology, kids can run while listening to a podcast or music.  Other parents take walks with their kids which encourages conversations and lets them unpack their day. In either event, they need to be encouraged to be active.

•  Instant gratification is up. Resilience is down.

Resilience is really the ability to absorb setbacks on your path to success. It is related to the ability to be patient and wait for results, not just immediate satisfaction. When you don’t see immediate results, you learn. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from bumps in the road or hardships, and it is only learned from actual experience.

The antidote is pretty straightforward. Try and put your child in situations where they have delayed gratification. “Caring adults must introduce scenarios where young people must work and wait for what they want.” And be an encourager along the way.

MENTOR TAKEAWAY

You can be that sideline encourager. We can’t change the past, but we can help future generations into “health, balance and leadership.”

FURTHER READING

42 States Sue Meta Over Kids Mental Health

Un-Social Media – 

Lawn Mower Parents

Helicopter Parents

Growing Leaders – Elmore

WORSHIP: Build My Life – Passion

Cancer

The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?   Proverbs 18:14

I haven’t written for most of the summer while I recovered from knee surgery in late June, and then a week-long chemotherapy session for a rare form of leukemia in August. Both procedures went well.  The leukemia was my third bout with cancer – prostate was the first, and I have had every form of skin cancer over the years except melanoma.  In all of the cases, early detection and treatment are the key. 

There is probably no one on this planet over the age of 5 who doesn’t know of some family member or friend that has gotten cancer.  There are all kinds of cancers – some are life threatening, and others are now treatable.  As a practical matter, all cancers are potentially lethal if not treated. The first time you hear your name and “cancer” in the same sentence, it is a jarring moment. It is a reminder that you are human, and life is short. 

Right now, I have several friends who are battling terminal cancers. The impact on family and friends can be devastating and heartbreaking.  They become your support network and sometimes caretakers. In both cases, they are supported by prayer networks who keep in constant contact with them.  Some of them even have a CaringBridgesite where periodic updates are posted on any developments.  The latter communication link is very valuable for disseminating updates to a broad audience all in one step rather than doing it one at a time. 

So why would I write about Cancer in a blog focused on the next generation?  Well, two reasons. The first one is obvious:  dealing with a friend or family member who has cancer.  It can’t be avoided in life unfortunately.  Often, one doesn’t know what to say to somebody with cancer.  I don’t have a magic formula, but I can say that you should mentally acknowledge their condition, be supportive and be as normal as possible. You are their friend for a reason, and they want to have normal interaction with you.  

The second reason is less obvious:  the medical community is now detecting cancers in the next generation at alarming rates, and particularly in the 30-39 age group.  It’s called “early-onset” cancer.  Doctors are finding cancer in younger adults which are far advanced. Often, cancers take anywhere from 4 to 20 years to get to a detection level, but they are now finding cancers well developed at much earlier ages.

For context, there will be around 2 million new cancer cases in the US alone in 2023.  Internationally, 1 in 6 people will have cancer. That’s around 12.5% of the world’s population.  As a cancer survivor, I am interested in how people face cancer.   Tim Keller developed pancreatic cancer and tried several treatments, including immunotherapy at NIH.  He was jarred by the discovery of this cancer, particularly when the chemotherapy drugs stopped working. 

The immunotherapy worked well at first, but even it was unable to stem the tide of Keller’s passing. He wrote a book titled On Death (How to Find God). A month after publication 2020, Keller was diagnosed with cancer and did an article in the Atlantic which made him reconsider what he had said in his book On Death. It is worth a read on how a Christian faces adversity in the form of a terminal disease. I went through many of Keller’s reflections, albeit for a less lethal variety of cancer.

With the rising tide of cancer in younger people, one has to ponder what is the solution.  As one writer put it after his wife had died of breast cancer “What if?”  The what if was what precautions he could have taken or screenings they should have done.  Early detection of cancer is the best case for a cure. The longer you wait, the more it spreads and can be unmanageable if not detected in time.

In my own case, my diagnosis came through a regular doctor’s check-up when they took a blood panel that I get every time I have an annual physical.  My doctor was concerned about one of the many markers that they look at and called for a second test – this time for a pathology.  It turned out to be leukemia, and I had probably had it for several years, but the symptoms were benign.  I actually described his thesis when I wrote “Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda”.

The last thought is that there is now speculation on the effect of Covid-19 on cancer incidences. A recent AJMC articlediscusses the connection based on anecdotal evidence of advanced cancers. Whether Covid triggered dormant cancers via an inflammatory response.  More study is needed to verify the connection but the timing of increased cancers in millennials is compelling. 

I believe the message is now pretty clear on the health side. The next generation cannot take for granted that cancer is only for older adults.  They have to be on their toes, and bypassing routine physicals every year is no longer safe.

MENTOR TAKEAWAY.  One thing you can do for your mentee is to be sure he or she is getting periodic medical checkups. They are neither bullet proof nor immune from cancer.

FURTHER READING

Keller, Cancer, and Christ – Muelhenberg

On Death (How to Find God)  Keller

Growing My Faith in the Face of Death – Keller

Increased Cancers Among Young Americans – US News

Early Onset Cancer Increase (particularly in women) – CNN

Link Between Covid-19 and Cancer Progression – AJMC

The Unexplained Rise of Cancer in Millennials – Financial Times

WORSHIP:  Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies  – Passion. 

For more information about MentorLink, go to www.mentorlink.org.

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Marriage

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.Genesis 2:24

One topic that seemed to bleed through my recent hiatus from writing was the topic of marriage.  It came as no big surprise that marriage rates are down, and that Pew Research recently reported that a study of US Census data shows that a record number of 40-year-olds have never married. 

In addition, more than half of those who are single have used an online dating site or dating apps. In that data, the usage is higher for those who have never been married than those who were married. The conclusion is pretty clear. Those who are unmarried tend to want a spouse. They just can’t find one.  This is not just an American phenomenon. 

Having written a blog about the next generation starting with millennials those statistics do not surprise me. Millennials have had extended adolescence, often causing them to live with their parents for long periods of time.  In 2017, I wrote about the characteristics of millennials which included the following attributes:

• Asian in outlook – values are formed by their peers.
• Delayed entrance into adulthood – late 20’s or early 30’s.
• 40% live with parents through early 30’s.
• 20% have college debt (U.S. only)
• Have grown up in post-Christian era.
• Digitally obsessed on social media.
• Self-centered and self-absorbed – hence taking “selfies”.
• Many feel lost – loneliness, anxiety and depression are high, as is the suicide rate.
• Almost 40% have grown up in single parent homes (US).

I did an update of some of these trends in 2023.  My conclusions included the following:

1.  Studies show that relationships by single young men have suffered. Sexual intimacy “is at a 30-year low” and Pew Research indicates that 60% of young men under 30 are currently single.  I touched on this some time ago suggesting that the next generation has not grown up into adulthood until their late 20’s or early 30’s. Another factor is that porn increasingly is a Plan B to satiate sexual needs.
2.  The millennials are the most educated generation ever. One third of millennials (and 40% of women) have a college degree. Yet, they have a much lower “trajectory of wealth accumulation than their parents and grandparents.”  This has lots of implications for social and governmental policy. Part of this trend comes from the recession of 2007-2009 which is when millennials entered the workplace. The millennial holds 41% less wealth than prior generations at the same age. 
3. Millennials have been slower to form their own households which may be a product of the Great Recession (2007-08).  Those without college degrees tend to live more at home with their parents and for longer times than any prior generation but not having a job is not a factor according to Pew Research. 

The oldest millennial is now in their early 40’s.  What I see in the above is that the millennial’s entrance in the adult world has been deferred by 10 years.  In the past, they were in their early 30’s getting started settling down dating and looking for a spouse and starting a family.  Now, at 40, the biological clock is “ticking”, and they feel like the train has pulled out of the station without them. 

I came across two separate articles that have a bearing on this topic. One from Tim Elmore titled Leading Disengaged Young People.  Elmore discusses the social contract that has existed for thousands of years – that of collectivism.  The current trend of individualism flies in the face of our need for community. 

Elmore notes: “As time marched into the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, technology made it possible to postpone this social contract, as young people separated themselves into their own echo chambers, thanks to their music and media messages.” Elmore continues: “In the 1960s, millions of Baby Boomers rejected some of the social contract via rock and roll, illegal drugs, and free sex.” 

Add to Elmore’s comments those of Paula Rinehart who touches on similar themes in an article in the Federalist. Paula quotes Mary Eberhart: “Women long for a responsible man. Instead…. they are faced with ‘chronically stupefied young men for whom love and romance have become unachievable, thanks to pornography’.”

A predictable result is that birth rates have plummeted to a point well below (i.e. 1.6) the 2.1 children per family needed to maintain the status quo and this is an international problem.  This is worrisome, and some of that decline can be laid at the feet of the decline in marriages.

These are troubling statistics.  I won’t even start to get into the other cultural causes including the breakdown of the family unit and the loss of spirituality in the next generation.  Our society is built on the family – it is God’s plan for us to have a family and reproduce so that we can “pass it on to our children”. That’s what a healthy society has done over the millennia. 

MENTOR TAKEAWAY:  There is a good chance your mentee is unmarried today.   If you are married, you may be modeling what a good marriage looks like so you should not be shy in affirming your spouse in your life.

FURTHER READING

Charted: The Rapid Decline in Global Birth Rates – Visual Capitalist

Record Share of 40-Year-Olds Have Never Been Married – Christian Post

The American Family Today – Pew Research

The Global Decline of Birth Rates

Why Are Women So Angry About Abortion Laws?  Paula Rinehart

Adam and Eve After the Pill – Mary Eberhardt

Leading Disengaged Young People – Tim Elmore

WORSHIP:  Take My Life (And Let it Be)  Tomlin

For more information about MentorLink, go to www.mentorlink.org.

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Anniversaries

However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness] and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [what she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him and holding him dear]. Ephesians 5:33 (Amp)

My oldest son and daughter in law just celebrated their 28^th anniversary last Sunday.  They were married by a pastor friend of mine, and at the reception, Judy, my daughter in law, changed her white wedding dress into a traditional Chinese red silk dress that was just stunning.

Her family is from Taiwan, and a number of her Taiwanese relatives flew in for the wedding.  Some did not speak English.  At the rehearsal dinner, something amusing occurred which still makes me chuckle. 

Because some of the guests didn’t speak English, Judy’s uncle acted as a simultaneous interpreter.  All was going well as various friends and family gave toasts to the new couple. Then, Judy’s brother stood up and her uncle assumed that he was going to give a toast in Mandarin.  

Instead, her brother started by saying “I’d like to give a toast”, to which the uncle chimed in “He would like to give a toast”.  There was a momentary pause and then everyone started laughing at the scene.

I’m sure everyone has stories about their wedding. Some might be funny, some not so funny.  But celebrating and anniversary is a special thing in our family.  Not all marriages last. The divorce rate in America has declined slightly. For first marriages, about half of marriages end up being dissolved.  The rate is even higher for second or third marriages. 

The toll on society is extensive. If there are children involved, they often become pawns being played by their parents in a game they didn’t ask for. I recently interacted with a friend whose wife has done everything she can to make his life miserable with his two children.   Very sad, and unfortunately, going to court is often not a solution and can be expensive.

I have written about the terrible impact of the lack of fathers in children’s lives. 

The negative outcomes of kids raised without a strong father are legion.  It leaves a permanent scar on kids that you can’t see or touch.  That’s why the biblical marriage is such a special thing.

When I got married, I remember reciting the usual wedding vows in the front of the church before friends and family.  In it, I can remember mumbling that I took Sis as my wife “from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance.” 

I was 21 at the time – too young really to understand the impact of that statement.  Over the course of our marriage (and I suspect over the course of your marriage if you are married), we have lived through all of those things.  We’ve been through good and tough times and have been both rich and poor at one time. 

Now in our advancing years, we are facing life “in sickness and in health”, although we both have been very blessed to be active and reasonably healthy. Nonetheless, I am due for a knee replacement next Monday, which follows from two hip replacements years ago. 

As a friend said to me recently, getting old is not for the faint of heart.  Each year of our marriage has found us in different spots – some good, some not so good. Sis often jokes when asked how long we are married by saying that regardless of the number, we’ve only had 45 good years. My wry friends have kidded me by asking me to tell them about the 10 bad ones.

My two other children also have strong marriages. My youngest son is on his 23^rd year and my daughter has been married 18 years.  I believe that our marriage has been a model for them to follow, even though our marriage has been imperfect because we are imperfect beings.  

Sticking together through thick and thin makes a statement that can’t easily be put in words.  As is often the case, your kids don’t learn from what you say but what you do.  I was recently asked “What was the secret to a long marriage?”.  Pretty easy, actually.  It takes a lot of grace between spouses, and I’ve learned having a sense of humor goes a long way. By that I mean that you should never take yourself too seriously.

I am reminded what Ruth Graham said when asked if she had ever considered getting a divorce from Billy Graham” “Divorce? No, never, but I considered murder several times.”  When I heard this, I actually thought it was something my wife said about us.

A couple of years ago, our church in Pinehurst put on a Marriage Renewal Seminar.  I asked my wife if she wanted to attend. She shook her head “no” and said: “It’s too late.”  That kind of humor has kept us going. Our 57^th Anniversary is this coming Sunday.

MENTOR TAKEAWAY:  It’s entirely possible that your mentee has never experienced a strong role model marriage.  You may be able to be that model.

FURTHER READING: 

Revealing Divorce Statistics in 2023 – Forbes

Traditional Wedding Vows – What they Mean – Wedding Wire

WORSHIP: More Like Jesus – Kristian Stanfill

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DEI

For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way.  2 Thessalonians 2:7

Over the past 7 years, I have written of cultural issues that affect the next generation – often in ways that hasn’t affected the older generations.  Some of these topics are surprising – they spring from a changing culture, or more specifically, from people trying to change our biblical culture and not in a good way. 

Until a few years ago, no one had heard of DEI. It stands for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.  The problem is that those words no longer mean what you might think they mean. DEI has become a virus that has spread to our academia, businesses, and government.  It is the wolf in sheep’s clothing.   Seemingly innocuous and well-intended, it is actually toxic.  

DEI flows from CRT (Critical Race Theory) from which you also get Social Justice, a phrase that sounds good but doesn’t mean what you might think.  The progressives have a capacity to take words of common meaning and then give them an uncommon meaning which is a way of Moving the Goal Posts.

And yet, DEI is now everywhere. In the classroom, in business institutions, in the military, and even in some churches.  In education, it is touted as having benefits, yet at the same time, those same schools are generally failing miserably in teaching kids how to think, not what to think.  An example would be that a recent Federal Report showed that half of public school students are now performing below grade level. 

In other words, more than half of the students can’t do math, read, or write, but they are getting questionable “benefits” from DEI indoctrination.  Seems to me that is missing the point of education, which is to educate, not indoctrinate.

I thought the best way to highlight how insidious this ideology is would be by repeating a recent story that I spotted an article with anecdotal evidence of how divisive DEI is.  It is the story of two women – one black, one white – who collaborated and started a consulting business which originated from a viral video they made on a racial incident at a Starbucks.

Things were fine until the black woman returned to Ghana for a lengthy time (she has a dual visa). They originally had a 50/50 split, but when the black woman returned to the US, she was resentful and unilaterally decided that “equity” was required her should make more regardless of their relative contributions.

She claimed that their breakup was not about the money but “it was the racism and microaggressions that always come from White people.” As the author notes, “The White woman who dedicated herself to being an “ally” wound up exactly where you would expect accused of racism, publicly smeared, and facing cancelation.”

What was interesting to me was that neither woman had any real qualifications to do trainings at major corporations who were willing to pay them $10,000 for each presentation.

The author concludes with this: “DEI has probably done more damage to racial relations than any other force in America.”  There are a lot of ironies here, not the least of which is that her home country (Ghana) was the center for slave trade perpetuated by tribal leaders – initially to Muslim countries before expanding Europe and the Americas. The “oppressors” were black, not white.

I have previously documented the sordid Marxist origin of both CRT and now DEI.   For whatever reason, the media is against having the truth of the historical background. Recently, Facebook censored a man for sharing an excerpt from a 1954 textbook.  The excerpt in his Facebook post highlighted how to overturn democracy in a few easy steps:

• Divide the nation philosophically.
• Foment racial strife.
• Swarm the nation’s borders indiscriminately and unconstitutionally.
• Engender the military and weaken it.
• Overburden the citizens with more unfair taxation.
• Encourage civil rioting and discourage accountability for all crime.
• Control all balloting. 
• Control all media.

This was republished and adopted in the 1960’s by the Weather Underground who were kind enough to leave behind a very similar list for future revolutionaries titled: Prairie Fire: The Politics of Revolutionary Anti-Imperialism. It is available on Amazon today and it is instructive to read the introduction on Amazon about the Weather Underground.  

You will see the similarity of the steps of the Weathermen and the textbook immediately. In Prairie Fire, these are the steps to revolution:

• Destroy capitalism 
• The weapon of choice: systemic racism and reform police (defund police).
• Identify a victim class.
• Organize the victims in the victim class.
• Coordinate with the international movement (i.e. socialism and communism).
• Attack and dethrone God.

Please note the last step which is common to all socialist philosophies. These are Marxist to the core, yet most in our institutions don’t have the intellectual curiosity to look under the covers to see the truth about this ideological virus that seeks to divide.  

As the white woman wondered where she did anything wrong. That’s exactly the point.  The division is not about actions but is solely based on the color of one’s skin. It is racial to the core, and contrary to how God sees each of us.

MENTOR TAKEAWAY:  Your mentee may have been indoctrinated through DEI (or CRT).  Lovingly help them to see that it is not God’s value system to cause racial division.

FURTHER READING

Half of Public-School Children are Now Performing Below Grade Level – Reason

Behold the DEI Scam in a Microcosm – David Strom

Man Banned on Facebook from Sharing ‘Excerpt’ From 1950’s Textbook

WORSHIP: Battle Belongs – Wickham

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Woulda Shoulda Coulda

The road to life is a disciplined life; ignore correction and you’re lost for good.  Proverbs 10:17 (The Message)

The title is a short version of “Would Have”, “Could Have”, and finally “Should Have”.  It’s a phrase that has various connotations, but the primary one is the sense of a lost opportunity, or, alternatively, the regret of not having done or accomplished something when the opportunity arose.  

Another set of idioms expressing the same thing is “second guesses”, or the phrases “what if” and “if only”.  Each of these expressions carry the same idea – looking backwards to see if you would change anything.

It can have a sense of regret – that missed chance to do something different. But life is like that.  You don’t always get a heads up on what things might happen, so it’s really hard to practice or think about what you are going to do in a given situation. 

This post was inspired by Bill Muehlenberg, and Australian Christian author who writes a blog titled Culture Watch.  I enjoy his posts even though he is from down under.  A recent post was titled “If I Hadda Known”.

The central premise of Muehlenberg’s post is that God doesn’t often give us a peek into what might happen in the future.   That doesn’t mean that we aren’t always told what may lie ahead as in the case of Saul’s conversion in Acts 9:10-16 where God told Ananias to go find Saul and heal his blindness so that Saul could become the Paul of the New Testament.

For most of us, we don’t get that kind of heavenly telegram of the future. We often don’t get anything, but we are promised that God’s Word is a “lamp unto our feet” in Psalms 119:105.  

As I look back over my life over the past 78 years,  I realize that the Speed Bumps of life that I’ve gotten didn’t include a Godly heads up that they were coming.  As I reflect, there were some things I would have done differently but in the times that I was living in the valley, I knew instinctively that God was there helping me get through my circumstances but not out of them. 

As Muehlenberg notes: “Not knowing much about our path ahead keeps us dependent upon God and means we cannot rely on ourselves. We need him every step of the way.”  To which I say Amen.

Muehlenberg ends with a quote from a sermon by Billy Graham some 50 years ago: “Habakkuk said, “Lord please tell me what you’re doing.” And God said, “No, I’m not going to tell you, Habakkuk. Because if I told you what I was doing you wouldn’t believe it.”

So it is with us. If we knew everything beforehand, we might not believe it.

My financial life went through episodes like Paul who lamented that he knew what it was to have prosperity and also be poor.   I once had an overabundance, and then overnight, I was financially underwater.   I was technically bankrupt being buried under a mountain of real estate debt. It took me close to ten years to work through it.  

There were lots of not fun times during those ten years.  It caused me to burn out – not once but twice.   I was an emotional cripple unable to cope with life for several months. 

From those episodes, I learned a lot about myself, about my relationship with God and how to lean on family and friends in the bad times, not just the good ones. Oh, and when you go through things like that, you find out who your real friends are – those are the ones that stick with you through the good and bad times.

The upshot of those two events continues.  After I recovered from burnout, I ended up researching the causes (most are self-induced) and wrote a paper on how to help others which was circulated to many others over the succeeding years. I also spoke about burnout to audiences as large as 600 people. 

I was the expert after all.  As for my financial setbacks, I learned that money and “stuff” was not all that important. What was important was your relationship with God, your family, and your friends. A short but valuable list. 

Through careful planning and discipline, I was able to recover enough to retire about ten years ago in a fashion that permitted to continue ministry and helping others who I met along the way while volunteering for MentorLink.  I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

My latest trials are more in the health arena – getting old is not for the faint of heart. My knee needs to be replaced, and I am dealing with a variety of leukemia which is a cancerous blood disorder.  Every day is a new day where I am just grateful to be alive.

My wife and I recently went to a Chinese restaurant that we hadn’t been to in years.  As is the custom, they bring a fortune cookie when they give you the bill. I opened mine and it said: “If you are vertical, it’s the start of a good day.”  Yep.  

The next generation will also encounter “Woulda Coulda Shoulda” moments in their lifetime. As a friend of mine once said, you never know what is around the next corner in life. 

MENTOR TAKEAWAY:  Your mentee will have unanticipated events of life leading to “woulda coulda shoulda” moments. Your insights may be helpful.  

FURTHER READING:

If I Hadda Known – Bill Muehlenberg

Culture Watch – Muehlenberg

WORSHIP:  I Can Only Imagine – Mercy Me

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Syncretism

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good. 2 Timothy 3:1-3

This is a large word that not all may be familiar with.  It basically means an “amalgamation or attempted amalgamation of different religions, cultures or schools of thought.”  In the Christian world, it refers to the process of taking a biblical world view and adding to it from other world views. In America, that includes taking from several non-Christian views.

Syncretism is a concept that I first discussed in my post titled “Worldview” several years ago. I touched upon it later in “Through the Glass Darkly” where I found research that said 94% of parents had a worldview tied to syncretism.

In other words, they hold a blend of world views which might include Christianity, but also contains other world views, and no single “life philosophy” is dominant.  The statistics are sobering – there are many studies about parent’s attitudes showing a growing decline in a true biblical worldview. 

I’ve long addressed the fact that we are living in a post-modern and post-Christian era.  But it’s one thing for the lay public to have these views. It’s an entirely different animal when syncretism is creeping into our churches.

George Barna did a recent survey at Arizona Christian University which connected the dots to declining spirituality by generations as a response to the Covid Pandemic.  

As George Barna notes, “During times of crisis, every generation turns to their worldview to navigate the challenges. Sadly, because syncretism is the prevailing worldview of each generation in America today, the response of Americans to the pandemic and the political turbulence it facilitated have been every bit as muddled and chaotic as the worldview on which they are based.”

Barna then continues to say our ideological and theological confusion comes from the increasing trend of rejecting biblical principles and replacing “God’s truth with ‘personal truth’”.  That means is my personal “truth” overrides facts, reasoning, biblical truth, and cultural imperatives. We are now in a post-truth era too. 

That’s a slippery slope. Think about having 7 billion people with their own definition of personal truth. There is no universal set of truths that they could possibly agree on. That’s chaos, which is pretty much where we are today.

I was not surprised that Barna’s studies show that millennials and Gen Z have the lowest incidence of having a biblical worldview. After the pandemic, millennials dropped to just 2% having a biblical worldview. 

Generation Z on the other hand fared slightly better with 5% having a biblical worldview.  Their activities reflect that decline – fewer attend bible studies or church and bible reading has suffered. One shocking result: Gen Z’ers showed a marked decline in the value that human life is sacred.  When the sanctity of human life declines, we are in big trouble.

Other generations showed declines as well, partly because of lockdowns of churches during the pandemic. Boomers showed a decline in a biblical worldview from 9% to 7% and elders dropped from 9% to 8%.  

“With only one out of every 50 millennials embracing a biblical worldview, America’s children are especially vulnerable to the inward-looking approach to life that their parents and most other adults practice,” according to George Barna.  I agree.

We have a lot of work ahead with the next generation.  Their parents have increasingly dropped the ball in passing on Christian values and our society and culture are showing the obvious signs of distress. 

We may be past the Pandemic, but syncretism as a prevailing worldview for many people and is a danger for our culture. It’s time for you, me and the Church to stand tall calling for a Great Renewal in spirituality to oppose the move from the left calling for a “Great Reset”.

MENTOR TAKEAWAY:  You cannot assume that your mentee’s parents have passed along biblical values in this day and age. You may be the only Christ they have ever seen.

FURTHER READING

Worldview

Through the Glass Darkly

America is Under the Threat of Syncretism

Dark Academia – James Emory White

The Worldview Dilemma of American Parents– Barna – 2022

The Great Reset

WORSHIP:  New Name Written Down in Glory – Gentiles

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Speed Bumps

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-3

I meet once a month with a group of internationals who took the MentorLink Institute leadership training course.  For some reason, this group has stuck together for close to 8 years. The training itself takes about 4 years– it can be done in less, but we did it in a leisurely fashion so that our outside lives would not be interrupted. With two exceptions, all of the participants are in full-time ministry, and most are pastors.

We completed the Institute but decided to continue on with related material in several sessions that took several months to complete.  In the course of doing those sessions, we got to know each other in very personal ways – our personalities, foibles, strengths, and weaknesses. We were open and transparent with each other as time went on.  We cheer for each other’s successes and help each other with our challenges. 

This past Wednesday, I mentioned speed bumps when describing something about my health. In America, we use speed limit signs to control the speed of autos, but in the developing world, they often don’t have speed signs and instead use the device of speed bumps – paved bumps in the road – to control speed. 

My first experience with those came when I was in a taxi driving from Duala to Limbe Cameroon.  I was supposed to be picked up by a friend but found out later that he had been in an accident and was unable to pick me up. I was in a strange country and didn’t have any address to speak of. It was raining and getting dark, and the airport was closing, so I opted to try to take a taxi. 

The distance isn’t far actually – only about 35 miles. But the trip goes through one small town after another. And there were unmarked speed bumps.  The taxi was old and needed repair. The windshield wipers didn’t work well, and the lights were dim making visibility at night difficult. 

There are no signs marking the bumps and they aren’t painted so if you are not familiar with the road, you hit them going too fast which left a lasting impression. My head hit the top of the taxi more than once. The trip took over 3 miserable hours. Every time the driver hit the brakes the car made the sound of brakes in bad need of replacing.  Let’s just say it was a ride I would never want to repeat.

But I made it.  I mentioned to our group that we are now importing that foreign “bump technology” in a vengeance in America and many neighborhoods have added speed bumps to supplement speed signs. Very effective method of reducing speeding I must say.

The point I was making was that speed bumps in life are often like that. If they aren’t marked, you are in for a surprise when you encounter one.  The “C” word is one of them. “C” stands for cancer.  When you hear that word used in a sentence by a doctor with your name in it, it makes an indelible impression. 

I recently had that occur, only this isn’t my first experience with cancer. I had prostate cancer back in 2008.  Like my experience on the trip from the airport in Douala to Limbe, it was like hitting an unseen speed bump and it took me some time to recover my bearings. But I learned from it and actually wrote about my experience as an encouragement to others. 

I titled it “Prostate 101”, and in a few pages, I gave some basic advice about how to navigate the bump in the road. How to find good sources of medical information because the internet can be full of bad advice. How to deal with it mentally and spiritually. How to communicate with friends and family who you want to know about your condition but often don’t want to intrude. 

I suggested using CaringBridge, for example, which is a great tool to inform friends and family in one place and permits them to stay informed as developments occur as well as to let others comment and give encouragement.  I was surprised how easy it was to set up and how well it worked.

This time around, my cancer is a form of leukemia, a blood disorder. The initial preliminary diagnosis was CLL – Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia which often occurs in the older population. I was referred to a hematologist/oncologist who said at the outset that he wasn’t sure what I had, and he had me go through additional blood tests taking what seemed like a gallon of blood in the process.

My hematologist called a couple of days ago when he got the test results and said that I, in fact, had something similar but not CLL. Instead I have HCL or hairy cell leukemia, a rare form that has 600 cases a year in the US. My doctor had only seen three other patients in his career.

My next steps are to get a bone marrow biopsy and a CT scan for my lymph system. Mind you that I don’t have any real pronounced symptoms yet and may not have for some time which is pretty normal.

I have approached this latest chapter as another bump in the road of life. Like other bumps I’ve been over, I am committed to deal with it and keep my sense of humor intact. In fact, once I found out I had HCL, I commented that it didn’t sound as sexy as CLL. I texted by children to say that it was nice to know that I was “rare”.  

I am also embraced in the love and family and friends who are praying for me which is a tremendous comfort. Like all other bumps, I will weather the storm hanging on to God’s promises.

MENTOR TAKEAWAY:  Your mentee is watching how you handle bumps in life. It’s an opportunity to show them your faith in God in all circumstances.

WORSHIP: Take My Life – Passion

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